A bit of humor for your day

The National Association of Gals (NAGS) don’t hold a candle to Women Against Guides (WAGS) for sheer ability to strike fear into the hearts of peace-loving men everywhere.

An unsuspecting young man falls in love. His bride vows to “honor, cherish, and obey, and not interfere with his frequent hunting trips.” (that line was in your vows, wasn’t it?) She forgets all about those last few words and hits high volume the first time her husband mortgages the dog and the kids to go on an elk hunt in Wyoming.

She joins with other WAGS to form chapters nationwide, then they get with the anti-gun lobby and form Women Against Gun Shops (also WAGS) to try and eliminate the tools of hunting. They succeed in eliminating guns in Australia, severely curtailing guns in Canada, and introducing wolves into the wilds of Wyoming so they may eat either all the moose and elk or all the hunters, and not necessarily in that order.

Meanwhile, back in the jungle, er, suburbs, the poor naive oaf goes on about his business of preparing for that once-in-a-lifetime elk hunt. Every day he hauls out his .700 Nitro-Express Eargesplitten Laudenboomer, “Old Whomper”, and lovingly polishes the stock. Of course he doesn’t shoot it, having learned that lesson shortly after he bought it, but he figures in the heat of the moment, with a huge 6 point bull in his scope, he won’t feel a thing, and hopefully the elk won’t either.

On a crisp morning in October he carefully packs the rifle in the airplane-proof gun case …… but where is the bolt?!! He didn’t ever remove the bolt! “Honey! Where’s my bolt?” he screams in panic. “What’s a bolt?” his sweet young wife innocently asks, a malicious smile playing around the corners of her mouth. “It worked!” she inwardly exults! For a certain “donation of various gun parts” she is now an Honorary Vice-President of the local chapter of WAGS. Her unsuspecting husband frantically ransacks the house, makes a frenzied phone call to his outfitter, and is assured that they have a back-up rifle he can use. Of course the sweet little woman doesn’t realize he now has an excuse to buy a new elk-slayer, probably at top dollar on this very hunting trip, but for the moment she and her fellow WAGS are happy at thwarting the eeeevil hunters, temporarily.

Don’t laugh, guys! Truth is stranger than fiction. I, myself, am missing a bolt from a rifle. Been missing for years. Not making any accusations, but do you know where your innocent little wife is tonight? Think about it. I personally think women and horses are a communist plot.

Jonesy of Jackson Hole

About Jonesy

Born and raised in Arizona. I've lived in Wyoming since 1983, currently in Jackson Hole. A lifetime of working with horses, taking tourists on trails in the high mountains, including scenic summer trips and fall hunting. I owned a gun shop for 5 years. I owned numerous other businesses over the decades. Active in conservative politics. So my "Cowboy Common Sense" draws on a LOT of life experiences.

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