Jonesy is a racist

I get accused of racism frequently by liberals. Here was one of my recent replies. Tim accused me, Maury, of being a racist because I didn’t like Obama.

Gee, Tim, I didn’t know I was a racist. I’ve got a daughter-in-law who is black as the ace of spades–and her son, my grandson— has a brown skin. I love them both. My sister is full-blooded Navajo and I love her. I have quite a number of close friends who are Hispanic. Nolan was the Best Man at my wedding.  His mother was Mexican (we called them in those days). I was born and raised in southern Arizona so I had LOTS of Mexican friends while growing up. The Mormon Missionaries here in Jackson love me and I love them and they are Hispanic. A couple of my best friends are African American.

I guess I’ll have to repent from being racist. What do I do now, Tim? I’m at a loss as to know how to correct this flaw in my character.

Oh, I forgot one more thing, Tim, which shows the racist flaw in my character;

Last election I voted for Taylor Haynes for Governor of Wyoming.
He’s a Wyoming cowboy who has either been out in the sun WAY too long or he is of African-American ancestry. His skin is b-l-a-c-k. (shudder) I voted for him. A really good man and a patriot with cowboy common sense.

We racists have no scruples: we will vote for the best person for the job no matter the color.

Oh, and by the way, I am also misogynist (noun: 1. a person who dislikes, despises, or is strongly prejudiced against women.) I didn’t like Hillary and didn’t vote for her. That is proof of another flaw in my character. In my defense, I loved my mother, I love my wife, I love my three sisters, I love my four daughters, I love my six granddaughters, and I love many many women for the beautiful people that they are–inside and out. I have a hard time reconciling that with my misogyny.

I’m working on my misogyny as hard as I’m working on my racism. Please help me, psychiatrist Dr. Welch.